He Is “Dating” Another Woman. Do I Offer Him an Ultimatum?

Reader Question:

we came across some guy online which life 500 miles away. He is 34 and that I’m 53. The guy performed tell me he had a girl he dated “locally” and that he was only on the site looking buddies. Three months later on we understood we’ve got feelings each other.

Meanwhile, the guy still suggests he is having issues with his sweetheart, who isn’t somebody he is “dating” in your area. He is coping with her plus they’ve been together for four decades.

At long last made the decision we’d meet up with to find out if this is really worth seeking. He gave me the main reason he did not think it had been to exercise while he had been along with her. I finally offered him an ultimatum and informed him i really couldn’t play 2nd fiddle. The guy professed their really love but mentioned he had been really puzzled.

Would I offer him ultimatum, it is their or me personally? Have always been we wrong to inquire about him to make that decision?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You wrote in my experience for honesty, right? Well, will you be sitting yourself down? Because right here arrives a honey pot of reality.

You happen to be residing dream secure, my personal dear lady. You’ve not also met this individual who may be a man and which might or might not have a girlfriend.

We extremely recommend you see the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an internet really love fraud.

But even although you you should not accomplish that, let’s assume for a moment he’s actually exactly who according to him he could be and overlook the reality the guy began composing for you by sleeping about their connection condition.

Why don’t we simply consider the alleged facts.

A.) He’s nearly 20 years more youthful than you.

B.) He is in a serious connection.

C.) He said right from the start he’s just trying end up being friends.

Thus I ask you to answer, why can you risk your own heart on such an awful choice?

Practical question should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but alternatively, should you allow yourself the really love you have earned?

If that’s the case, after that this is not the pony you ought to ride to the sunset with. Manage, lady!

No guidance or therapy advice: This site doesn’t give psychotherapy information. The Site is intended mainly for utilize by buyers on the lookout for common information of interest related to issues folks may deal with as people plus connections and relevant topics. Content material isn’t intended to change or act as replacement for expert consultation or service. Contained observations and views really should not be misunderstood as specific guidance advice.


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